Just Say No

Boundaries.

I am notoriously bad at setting boundaries. Or keeping them, for that matter. This is especially true if it comes to time, money, or emotionally draining people. I could cite any number of examples, but suffice it to say in the last three months, I have twice given money to people who have not even been bothered to be nice to me in recent times, or even not so recent times. Last week I gave three months notice to a job for which I work only one hour a week, but managed to let them coax three unpaid hours of time out of me to train someone who they are not sure they will actually hire. Also, I have a client that is rude, monopolizes my time, and generally makes me feel badly that I continue to instruct because, well, I'm not sure. Mostly, I feel bullied, like a school kid that just wants people to like her. Contrary to what you might think, I did not get a sense of satisfaction, of holding the moral high ground, or of compassionate sainthood from these deeds. In fact, they made me feel worse for knowing that I had been taken advantage of, that I am unable to stand up for myself, and that I value the wrong peoples opinions of me. And you know what? People do like me, not all of them, but plenty enough for a happy life. So, what does one do? Stop being charitable? Stop giving to people in need? Stop helping out? No. Of course not. But I m determined to change to whom I gift my time and energy. I can give money and time to strangers, charitable organizations, or even just people who bother to say thank you and feel much better about the world and myself in it. As for the boundaries, one thing at a time.

www.rubygonewild.com

The Air Out There

Breathe.

Last May I wrote about the Keeling Curve, the atmospheric carbon dioxide concentration, and the climate-related feedback processes associated with it. Today, the carbon dioxide concentration is 401 ppm, 350 ppm is the "healthy threshold". It has been like this for some time. I think about this, and I think about the pollen count, the nicotine vapor from the ecigarette next to me, the smoke rising from the local saw mill, the fumes at the gas station. Then I think about the murky air over LA, the hard-to-see athletes at the Beijing Olympics, and the Suracha factory being sued. I think about what I am breathing in every day, and I quietly apologize to my lungs for the many ways in which I have been unkind to them in the past. I thank them for their service to me, that they stick in there, that they let me dance and run and sing and laugh. I take a deep breath, and another, closing my eyes and savoring evening air. I think that it could be sweeter, cleaner. I think about the fact that everything we put into the air stays there, that air pollution is like fouling your own pool. I think that we could all take some action, do some thing. I think that ultimately, we will all want to take another breath.

To read about climate projects:

http://350.org/

In Other Words

Bedroom.

Shakespeare invented more than 1500 words or turns of phrase. He gave us words to describe the majesty of the world, like gloomy, radiance, and moonbeam and the simple and ordinary things, like eyeball and bedroom. What is interesting to me about this fact, beyond linguistic prowess or creative genius, is the simplicity of how he created them. For the most part, it was through tinkering, mashing words up against one another, turning nouns into verbs or adding a suffix, it was word play, really, and a necessity for someone working within the confines of pentameters and such. But it is a reminder, isn't it? Of the value of tinkering, the testing of limits, and the trying of new things. Today it reminds me to use all of my building blocks and all of my devices. Maybe I can make something entirely new.

Picture:
www.rubygonewild.com

Take A Breath

Exhale.

Sometimes life hands us people that work very hard to diminish us. Bullys, show-offs, people entrenched in competition or one-upsmanship, and people that hold grudges. These people might talk behind our backs, steal our ideas or thunder, or diminish us right to our faces. They can eat us up and break us down and make us forget how many people really love and value us. The trick, I think, is to pay them no mind at all. The trick, is to just let karma set it's own course and turn our attentions to more productive voices. The trick, it to treat them like what they are, allergens that fill the air around us and kick start our defense mechanism and stress responses. So go ahead, filter those people, their word and actions right out. And I mean literally. Stop hanging out with that friend that drags you down. Set some boundaries with that pushy coworker. Filter anyone who does not make you happy out of your social media feed. Stop going to the weekly thing you go to where that toxic person is, you can find another weekly thing that doesn't stress you out. Filter your social space just like you filter your air. It works.

You Caring

Sick.

Maybe it's just life. Maybe it's inching towards middle age. Maybe it's social media giving us too vivid a glimpse into one another's lives. But after years of graduations and weddings and baby showers, the news from out there has taken a distressing turn. Last year, I lost an old college friend to recurring brain cancer, the kind that comes with years of surgeries and brave recoveries, each one just a little less than the one before. This year, I have three friends with sites like You Caring or Caring Bridge, places you can go to donate money, time, or a cooked meal to them and their family while they go through chemo or recover from some other such awful thing. Maybe it's just life. Maybe it's middle age. Maybe if this was twenty years ago I would be shrouded in ignorant bliss. Maybe not. Maybe I or someone much closer to me will be next. Maybe I should take better care of myself, give up the last of my vices, or meditate more or get genetic screening. Maybe it's all a crap shoot. But I can say, that in some bizarre twist fate and irony, it is the strong and good people in my life that are being handed these challenging roads to walk.

I wonder what it is that we are to learn from it all.

To contribute to the talented mother and actress pictured above who is bravely fighting an aggressive breast cancer click the link. Thanks.
http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/help-domeka-beat-cancer/145633

Souvenirs of Things That Didn't Happen

Trinket.

A very long time ago when I was only about six or seven years old, still small enough to be collecting things like teddy bears, I received a strange gift from a friend of the family. I remember even at the time thinking it was odd, since it was a souvenir from a trip he never took to an Olympics, which for the US at least, never happened. And it was ugly, sort of, like most things designed for the Olympics, which always manage to be a little tacky. It was a small bear, made out of some kind of squishy plastic or foam and he carefully wrapped it in a plastic bag and told me to keep it there until I got older, that it would be worth something someday because it was an American souvenir for the games, but because of the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan Carter had pushed through an unpopular boycott. It was odd, and a little creepy to be given a gift I wasn't allowed to use or even really look at, but apparently, I did just that. And this week, I found it. According to Ebay, it's worth about twenty bucks. That's it. I have apparently packed and repacked that thing through every stage of my life and dutifully kept in in near pristine condition to the tune of twenty dollars. And you know what I did? I put it back in the bag. So it goes.

To read Politicos synopsis of the Olympic boycott:
http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Peace/2014/02/10/The-Failed-Carter-Boycott-of-the-1980-Moscow-Summer-Olympics

Blame the Trees

Slide.

It has been three weeks since a massive landslide buried the small town of Oso, Washington. Hope of rescue is gone, though salvage work remains as residents work to recover the remnants of their lives. This week the State of Washington will hold it's first public forum on the redevelopment of Highway 530 which rums along the base of the slide deposit. Washington is used to landslides. Washington is trying to move on.

The rest of the nation though, is apparently still astounded by the reality of geology happening in real time, regardless of human engineering. The Huffington Post ran an article yesterday claiming that the slide was not a natural disaster at all, but the direct result of irresponsible and outdated logging. The article went on to claim that logging is a silent industry that operates in the shadows without regulation or public comment. 

And while they are correct, the clear cutting of the slopes above Oso did contribute to the slide, so did years of human behavior that contributed to climate change, resulting in the wettest March on record. The logging industry does not operate in the shadows to anyone living in the Pacific Northwest, here it is big news. Big, and constant news. But the housing market has turned around, and businesses are booming, and little notice is paid to logging issues outside the region. Fly into Oregon sometime and insist that clear cuts are hidden.

It is tempting to simplify the events in Oso, to find a singular factor on which to place blame, especially if it suits your value system or politics. But the reality is that it is more complicated than that. We do not have the kind of control of nature we would like to claim. We still call floods natural disasters even when they are caused by poor choices in engineering and development and climate change we have brought upon ourselves. We need to start to look at these events with open eyes, and see the diversity of factors, many of which are within our control, that contribute to them. Start with the science.

To watch a USGS simulation of the slide, estimated to have taken less than ninety seconds from start to finish:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NzHCOhKr7g

To read the Huffington Post article:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ellen-moyer-phd/landslide-in-oso-washingt_b_5135878.html