Where Does She Find The Time?

Hustle.

One of the things I am most frequently asked is how do you find the time? The trick, I think, is to find what you love and go after it, without roadblocking or discouraging yourself. Some things I do to help myself along my path.

I make lists.

I keep a clean house.

I group tasks and errands.

I ignore the phone and the internet.

I set limits on how much time I will give to a task.

I triage.

I do things that I love and work most days.

I don't work at all some days.

I make choices.

I have a clear vision of my goals and obligations.

I allow my vision to shift with necessity.

I break tasks into component parts.

I start early.

I plan ahead.

I expect the unexpected.

I hustle.

How do you find the time? Share your answers in the comments.

Out of Towner

Away.

It's been a long summer. The trees are browning, the ferns are fading from the thirst, and everything, everything, is covered in dust. My long ago tomato starts and I have faithfully stood in our pots, and even produced some fruit. But mostly, I have been away. Of the last twelve weeks, I have spent most of ten of them adventuring, visiting friends, working away, and on the road. This week, I arrived half an hour before turning around and heading to work, and will leave again today as soon as I get off. My cat is pissed at me. My luggage is never unpacked. I have not see 'that' YouTube video. I have not seen anything you, or anyone else has posted on Facebook. People greet me like a long-lost friend. There is something to be said for stepping away, trusting that the things you need the most will be there when you return, and the things that fade were going to anyway. Being gone does a lot of good for sorting your priorities, forcing you to make choices, and teaching you to let things slide. 

 Where are you going?

Just Say No

Boundaries.

I am notoriously bad at setting boundaries. Or keeping them, for that matter. This is especially true if it comes to time, money, or emotionally draining people. I could cite any number of examples, but suffice it to say in the last three months, I have twice given money to people who have not even been bothered to be nice to me in recent times, or even not so recent times. Last week I gave three months notice to a job for which I work only one hour a week, but managed to let them coax three unpaid hours of time out of me to train someone who they are not sure they will actually hire. Also, I have a client that is rude, monopolizes my time, and generally makes me feel badly that I continue to instruct because, well, I'm not sure. Mostly, I feel bullied, like a school kid that just wants people to like her. Contrary to what you might think, I did not get a sense of satisfaction, of holding the moral high ground, or of compassionate sainthood from these deeds. In fact, they made me feel worse for knowing that I had been taken advantage of, that I am unable to stand up for myself, and that I value the wrong peoples opinions of me. And you know what? People do like me, not all of them, but plenty enough for a happy life. So, what does one do? Stop being charitable? Stop giving to people in need? Stop helping out? No. Of course not. But I m determined to change to whom I gift my time and energy. I can give money and time to strangers, charitable organizations, or even just people who bother to say thank you and feel much better about the world and myself in it. As for the boundaries, one thing at a time.

www.rubygonewild.com

Would Have Been Nice To Know

Really.

Some days I go out into the world and interact with people and witness the process of all of us trying to make it through our days and I am astounded by how very many of our interactions are exactly as they were in say, the third grade. I am usually surprised by my irritation, I mean, this is clearly the way of the world. Somehow though, in all my education, I missed that piece, the part about some things just never changing. There will always be the kid that picks on people, the one that cheats or steals, the pleaser, the line cutter, and the outcast. People will still fight over shiny toys, equal division of attention and property and they will still stick their tongues out at one another. Today what gives me hope is the idea that if those childhood vestiges still exist perhaps so do wonder, playful abandon, easy friendship, and heartfelt apologies. Today I ask myself, which inner child will you choose to carry today?

"The most sophisticated people I know-inside they are all children." Jim Henson

How To Start Your Day

Wake.

I am not a particularly good sleeper. Though not an insomniac, I do not sleep easily or very much and am prone to nightmares and fitful sleep. Perhaps because of this, I often wake in a soft and vulnerable state, feeling the stresses and obligations of life press upon me. In order to shake myself loose from this and face my day I turn to morning ritual. Far better than half an hour of extra sleep is rising early to take time for myself to build a fire, have a cup of coffee outside with the birds, and stretch. The way I begin my day has everything to do with how I proceed through the rest of it. Taking time for yourself first thing in the morning is a reminder of your own importance and it allows you to gather your thoughts and plan a course of action. It is not selfish to take this time. Self care is what allows us to provide for others and give them what they need. 

A list of things to do to reinvent your morning:

Do Yoga

Meditate

Drink a cup of tea

Read

Eat breakfast

Make a list

Take a walk

Sit quietly

Play music, sing a song

Take a bath, not a shower

For more ways to transform your morning:

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-11639/5-life-changing-ways-to-start-your-day.html

Image:

http://therumpus.net/2009/01/morning-coffee-18/

What Can You Do?

Try.

These days I am struck by the remarkable ability of people to reinvent themselves. I marvel at the diversity of passages and achievements I see in the people around me, degrees earned, languages learned, families built, shifted, and rebuilt. I consider the possibility that at any given time what we are, who and how we are in the world can be and in fact is, just a product of our own storytelling, ambitions, and hopes. I am glad to witness the fallen rise and the unhappy cheer and cautioned by the stories of those with harder luck. I delight, too, in the more simple manifestations of this process, friends that master baking bread, trapeze, or a new instrument. I love these achievements, the investment of time and effort they represent and am inspired to inspect my own ambitions. I think it is important to investigate the edges of our talents and abilities. It keeps us fresh and child-like in the world. It also reminds us that we can face the larger changes and challenges, that all hope is never lost. You can be the person you wish to be today, right now. It may not last and you dreams may not all come true, but today, if you let it, your truth can set you free.

Image:

  http://howtochangemylife.org/how-to-change-my-life/?replytocom=1

Little Tramp

Love.

On the occasion of his 70th birthday in 1959 Charlie Chaplin, known more for politics than philosophy or mindfulness, wrote this poem on the topic of self love.  In simple verse he touches on some of the most important aspects of how we view ourselves in the world, authenticity, respect, simplicity, and good health.  It is my hope that it does not take me until my own 70th birthday to own these words and implement these sentiments in my life.  My hope, is that by learning to truly love myself, I will lead a happy, well, and long life.

As I Began to Love Myself – Self Love Poem by Charlie Chaplin

As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering

are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth.

Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody

As I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time

was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this

person was me. Today I call it “RESPECT”.

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life,

and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow.

Today I call it “MATURITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance,

I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens

at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm.

Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE”.

As I began to love myself I quit steeling my own time,

and I stopped designing huge projects for the future.

Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do

and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in

my own rhythm. Today I call it “SIMPLICITY”.

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for

my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew

me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude

a healthy egoism. Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”.

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since

I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is “MODESTY”.

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry

about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING

is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT”.

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me

and it can make me sick. But As I connected it to my heart, my

mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this

connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART”.

We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems

with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing

new worlds are born.Today I know THAT IS “LIFE”!

Photograph of Charlie Chaplin circa 1916:

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Charlie_Chaplin_circa_1916.jpg