Sweet Silence

Quiet.

The world woke up cold today. The pines were still snuggled under their blanket of fog as we headed back towards town. For the first 36 miles we did not pass even a single car or speak more than a few words. Instead, we took the time be take in the bright blue of the sky, the gentle lilt of the trees, and the newly snow capped peaks. We held the silence between us, glad to share the morning with each other and a thermos of hot coffee. We looked forward, down the road, each of us mulling the tasks of our week, grateful for the time to think, grateful for each other. Sometimes the best thing we have to gift each other is silence; take some for yourself today.

Photograph:

www.rubygonewild.com

Friends and Benefits

If.

My mother always told me to be careful how you treated people because while you never know what they carry on their plate, you can be sure that it is full.  I always thought she was talking about strangers but sometimes we need to be aware of how this plays out with people closer to us as well.  Some notes on friends:

If they are busy, keep calling.  If you are busy, keep calling.

While friends are great sounding boards, remember to also use them to celebrate the best of your life, not complain about the worst.

Assume that as friends they mean no harm and approach discussion, disagreements and misunderstandings as such.

If you know you do not agree on a topic, choose someone else to discuss it with.

Assume you know only what they choose to show you, and consider the possibility that life has its ups and downs for everyone.

Thank them, often.

Of All These Friends And Lovers

Passages.

For all the work of building connections, relationships, and community there is an inevitable slipping of people away to other things, other people, other places.  Like most things in life the passing through of people seems to follow no particular course or trend but happens in fits and starts, as isolated incidents, the death of someone special or a good friend moving to a new job, or sometimes altogether, upon graduation or in connection to a breakup. Some of these passages are hard, some bittersweet, and some are surprisingly easy.  The ones to pay attention to are the ones that do not feel like loss.  The relationships that are the most important to us can weather all kinds of distances and periods of time.  These are the friends with whom we pick up right where we left off, regardless of a year without actually being in the same place at the same time.  These relationships are the ones that sustain us, they are the people to whom we will turn when things really go awry, and they are the people to whom we should be listening when we need advice.  These are the people that we should invest in.  

Consider for a moment the people in your life, the relationships to which you tend.  Which of them sustain you? Which of them exist solely because of proximity?  Try to identify the people that you cannot bear to lose and hold them close before they slip away.

The Beatles, In My Life:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zI0Q8ytD44Y

Like what you are reading?  Then support the Kickstarter for my book Girl Gone Wild- On Being a Woman in the Wilderness.  Thanks!

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1731666363/girl-gone-wild-a-guide-to-being-a-woman-outside?ref=city

Photograph Courtesy of:

http://www.featurepics.com/FI/Thumb300/20101111/Old-Rusty-Chain-Links-1700793.jpg