The Shiny Toy

Perspective.

Ten years ago I would never have known or cared if some guy from high school that I was not even particularly friends with got married in a western-themed three day wedding. I would not have any idea how many people from that same high school went on to marry each other, or have large broods of children, or that they named them all in odd nouveau riche fashion.  I would not watch the tragedies of illness and accident play out in these peoples lives, instead learning about them, perhaps, as a footnote to another conversation with someone with whom I have an actual relationship. "Did you hear about so and so?" "Oh, that's too bad." Now though, I do know about these things. I see the happenings of all kinds of people to whom I am not really connected, but I do not really share in them, nor is it my place to. That person that friended me on Facebook after not calling for eight years is probably just satisfying either their ego (how many friends do you have?) or some kind of morbid curiosity (can you believe she looks like that now?). While I appreciate the opportunity to say a few kind words to an old friend or donate money to a good cause, I wonder if any of this is tangible, if any of the connections are real. More and more I find the shiny toy of social media useful only for the passing along of information, largely to and from people with whom I have no emotional connection. It serves as a wonderful newsletter and bulletin board and promotional tool, but falls short in maintaining any kind of real connection or friendship. I shudder to think that people who pay attention to my Facebook page believe they understand anything about who I am or how I live my life. 

Perhaps today is a good day to reconsider the role of social media in our lives, particularly with respect to the assumptions we make about other people, who and how they are, and whether or not we are actually maintaining a friendship with them. Consider the people in your life that really matter, then pick up the phone and actually speak to them, you will both be glad for it.

Picture:

  http://momsparkmedia.com/big-hugs-elmo-twitter-party-monday-august-12-2013-at-300pm-et-bighugselmo-partner/

The Angry Tirade

Tired.

Pssssssssst. Hey, you there, with your finger hovering over the "post" button, why don't you just slowly back away from the social media site. That's right, just take a step back before you post another little tirade or tired list of complaints. Let's talk. First, you should know that your feelings, in all likelihood, are valid. Or at least most of them. Maybe you really did have a bad day, the other drivers really are terrible or someone has blocked the bike lane or your degree program is not fulfilling or someone with political views diametrically opposed to yours was interviewed, it happens. The thing is though, you are really just complaining. In public. A lot. Sometimes for days in a row. I know, there are leaves in the bike lane, again. You can't find enough hours to fulfill your residency, and someone is talking loudly on their cell phone. Life is full of irritations and unfairness. But you are the one complaining and ranting and generally bringing everyone down from wherever they are in dealing with their day which I promise you is filled with all kinds of annoyances. So stop complaining in public. Recognize your behavior for what it is, an expression of neediness, a desperate grab for attention, and a cry for validation. You can get those things from positive interactions too. More importantly though, that "share" button is rightly named. So consider what it is that you are choosing to share with others with your constant griping or negative posts and try to share something else with all of us before we drop you from our feeds, block you, or write you off as a wacko. Thanks, and have a nice day!

Photograph:

www.facebook.com  

Post Service

Mail.

This week, in spite of it being the 21st century, in spite of email and Twitter and Facebook and Skype, in spite of the US Postal Service raising rates and closing offices, I received a real, honest to god letter.  It was all the things a good letter should be, handwritten, on multiple sheets of paper, not just some printed-off picture of someones family or worse, a formal newsletter to friends and family detailing vacations, fifth grade graduations, and recent major purchases.  This was a letter to me, written for me, about the kinds of things people only used to take the time to write about when we lived in an era of taking time to do things.  It was a wonderful and important reminder to do just that, take time.  Intention and deliberateness are often pushed to the wayside in our contemporary rush towards innovation and development.  In the last decade in particular I feel we have put stock in all things new, without really considering the value of some of the things we have replaced.  I feel the loss of letters and worry about trading them in for the false connections and faker y of social media. Perhaps today is a good day to be old fashioned, walk, read a book, write a letter, cook a meal.  Slow down.

Photograph Courtesy of:

http://boyerwrites.wordpress.com/2011/07/12/love-letters-from-carl/old-letters/