Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Put Em' Up


Are arguments about conflict or resolution? My experience is that it depends on who the argument is with.  You boyfriend or boss? Probably about resolution.  Some random guy in traffic or a no-name classmate?  More likely conflict.  For the former:

1) Breath.  Your emotions have already gotten the best of you, it is part of what defines arguments, so take a moment.

2) Be nice.  Once you have said it you can never take it back.  Is it worth causing long-term damage to a relationship because of a disagreement or a bout of grumpiness? No, it almost never is.

3) Own it.  Whatever it is, just own it and say sorry.  If everyone takes a little bit of responsibility then no one feels entirely to blame and everyone's feelings are validated.

4) Forgive. Otherwise put as; do not pout.  Also, do not do the extended version, bringing up old arguments during new arguments.  Focus on the issue at hand, have your feelings, be heard, and then let it go.

5) Laugh.  Go out of your way to ease tension after an argument, crack a joke, smile, let the other person know that you are moving on.

Smile kids! It's all gonna be okay.

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