On Being A Gentleman

Gallantry.

The companion list, for men that want to be gentlemen in the modern age.

1) Call. A text is not the same. A phone call shows that you care and that the other person has value.

2) Open the door. Really. This small act of deference and others like it (pulling out a chair, offering a coat) will never go out of style.

3) Keep it to yourself. The guys do not need to know the details of your date, so keep it to yourself and allow her to retain her dignity, especially if you intend to keep her around.

4) Own a suit. Job interviews, weddings, and funerals still happen and a good suit lasts for years. Sometimes it is just important to look the part. Be prepared.

5) Pick up a check. Not all of them, but some, and especially in the beginning. It will set you apart and establish you as having generosity.

6) Listen. Most women want to be acknowledged by their companions, so listen and respond so that she feels important and intelligent.

7) Lend a hand. To the older woman hauling groceries to her door, the guy that has a flat tire, or the neighbor that needs the snow cleared from their walkway. Small acts of kindness are the mark of a true gentleman. 

8) Avoid discussing money and purchases. Verbal one-upmanship and boasting never impress the way they are intended to and only produce resentment in your listeners. Be cautious about money discussions and sensitive to others' situations. 

9) Know your limits. Stop drinking before you pick a fight, start an argument, become boorish, or have to be escorted home by your date. Everyone else will remember the incident far better and longer than you will. It's just not worth it.

Photograph:

http://malgeo.blogspot.com/2013/01/winters-styles-for-gentlemen-in-1867.html

On Waiting and Watching (III)

Etiquette.

Most audiences of live performance understand the amount of time, talent, and hard work that goes into training for and producing a stage show. What audiences do not know is that backstage all of the performers are reminded that regardless of their hard work and dedication, regardless of how important this is to them personally, what it symbolizes in their life, what they are about to do is work, and it is not for them; it is for the audience.

As an audience member then, it is important to remember that those people are up there giving it all away to you, each and every one of you.

Some things to take into consideration, or, how to be an audience member:

1) Arrive on time.  This means that if the show begins at 2, get there at half past so that you have time to use the restroom and find your seat.

2) If you can turn it on, turn it off.  Yes, we can see the glow from your phone, the little yellow light on your camera, and the reflection of the screen in your glasses.  Yes, it is a distraction.  And yes, we would prefer for you to watch us without a screen between us.  Live performance is best captured in our memories.

3) If your child does not want to be there or simply cannot sit still or be quiet, leave, quickly.  Sorry.

4) Remember that large casts may have many friends and relatives in the audience, so maybe call that girl fat after you leave the theater in case you are sitting next to her mom.

5) Clap enthusiastically and throughout the performance.   

Edward Gorey Image Courtesy of:

http://favim.com/image/10112/