Wild.
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When it comes to our relationship to
the wild, and our comfort in it, the problem is that there is nothing
in the wild for us to consume. There is no story line or Hollywood
effects, no sale signs, no conveniences, and no bonus rounds. In the
American wild, now, as always, there is only you, and the land. Even
with the rush of over-development in the last fifty years the
wide-open spaces of America are vast and breath-taking, but they
offer only the intangible effects that come with the opening of the
spirit. The real value of these gifts is only recognized with
practice and patience. Time teaches us to understand the world at
its own tempo, on the larger timescales of geology and evolution
rather than in the 24 hour news cycle soundbites to which we have
become accustomed. In order to step into the wild, we need to step
away from our need to acquire it.
The same thing can be said of ego. So
maybe you do not look your prettiest, maybe you are slower than the
other hikers, maybe you look silly in a big sun hat. Who cares?
Have fun, live life, relish not having to be right or the best, or
prove yourself in any way. Have patience with and compassion for
yourself; recognize that everything else is in its natural and flawed
state in the wild too, without diminishing its beauty or grandeur.
You are in the wilderness, no one is watching, its not going to end
up on Facebook or Youtube unless you put it there, so enjoy yourself
just as you are.
I know, from deep
within my body that being outside is good for me, mind, body, and
soul. I know from watching others and hearing their stories that the
wilderness is good for them too. I know from personal experience
that my friends that spend regular time outside are less likely to to
have problems with weight, mental health, or drug and alcohol abuse.
I know that a walk outside gives me time to breath and think and sort
myself out. I know that when I am unhappy, facing challenges, or in
need of comfort, the wilderness provides it. I know that no one asks
to have their ashes scattered at the mall.
The wilderness
restores me. Not just in the way that fresh air and light raise your
spirits and clear your head; it has always been the thing to which I
turn in the troubled times of my life. To walk in the woods, to feel
what it is to be a part of the larger systems of the world, to see
myself as just another animal in the wild, one that can commune with
the birds, watch the fish jump, track the stars across the sky, has
always worked to calm my mind and put into perspective the trials of
my life. I have walked out heartbreak over miles and miles of
trails, sometimes retracing the very paths of the relationship
itself; this time last year we walked this trail in the spring, here
was where we went snowshoeing. I have made some of the most
important life decisions in the wild, wondering if the decision to
quit ones job and relocate is still ground shaking if there is no one
around to witness it. I have grieved for lost loved ones and
celebrated their memories at ocean beaches and mountain vistas. I
have talked it out, whatever the it may be, with friends over miles
and miles of terrain, sifting through the clutter and debris of our
lives, walking and talking.
Being in the
wilderness forces us to rely upon ourselves and keep our own company
in a way that modern society does not. This is something that is
very good for us. I know so many women who lock their doors and
close their blinds, that cannot eat out at a restaurant by
themselves, that think they cannot change a tire or drive someplace
new without getting lost. We cultivate a culture of learned
helplessness the result of which is an overpowering sense of
loneliness and the loss of our identities as whole, capable persons.
Returning to the wild is one way for American women to revitalize
ourselves as potent, powerful, and productive participants in the
world around us. In the wilderness, I have learned that there is no
escape from yourself; that, in fact, so much vast expanse will first
force you to address yourself, before allowing you to take it in. So
let it go. Let your hair frizz and your nails chip, wear clothing
that is comfortable and washable, get dirty, get outside, go wild.