On Being A Lady

Grace.

There is some fuss about a post going around the interweb which lays out guidelines for being a gentleman and a lady in 2014. I think most of it is utter nonsense, but I appreciate the attempt. My own version, in no particular order.

1) Learn how to cook. Your parents will not always be around to make holiday meals so you need to be prepared to take over that task. Also, having something home-made to bring to events shows that you are human, and you care. Finally, cooking at home is cheaper, healthier, and provides important family time.

2) Say please, thank you, and excuse me. Frequently.

3) Do no post pictures of yourself or your friends drinking or drunk. Also, do not take to social media to rant. About anything. The internet is forever.

4) Be a hostess. Whether this means book group, a dinner party, or just having a friend over for a cup of tea, reach out and invite people to your home.

5) Do not discuss politics, religion, or lifestyle choices unless in company that you are sure already agree with you.

6) Stay home when you or your children are sick. In the post-antibiotic age, prevention will be the key to all of our health. Do your part and do not pass your bug along.

7) Say positive things to and about yourself and others.

8) Send thank you cards. For all the weddings and baby showers I went to in my twenty's I do not think I received a single actual thank you card. It is not a bygone era, thanks never goes out of style, and it makes you stand out for your efforts.

9) Master a craft or fine art. There was a time when women were expected to be able to embroider, now, we are expected to have no artistic skills whatsoever. It is a shame, and shows a lack of effort, interests, and refinement. So play the piano or paint or make bread, but have a craft and become good at it.

10) Keep your cooter to yourself. This includes when getting out of cars, at beaches, on the interweb, on stage, and generally whenever anyone else is around :-) Just sayin'.

Picture:

http://www.fabsugar.com.au/Miranda-Kerr-Does-Ladylike-Terry-Richardson-Harper-Bazaar-April-2012-Issue-See-her-Pose-Up-Storm-Little-Italy-22258994

A First Lady

Birdie.

Ladybird Johnson was a reluctant and unexpected first lady.  She was unsure of her abilities as a public speaker, and aware of her place well within the shadow of Jacqueline Kennedy.  She had an unpopular husband known best for ushering us into the Vietnam era and she stepped into her role as first lady under a cloud of public grief that would mark the beginning of decades of disillusionment and social change.  She was commonly referred to as  "wife in capital letters".  She wore a lot of yellow.

But. She also played an important role in the formation and implementation of the Headstart program, which today services more than 22 million children nationwide and was essential to the formation of the Redwoods National Park.   

We assume we know people, what they stand for, what they do, and what's important to them.  That Ladybird Johnson was one of the nation's early environmentalists may surprise us speaks to our tendency to pigeonhole people, and judge them based on their most public selves.  That she so quietly accomplished so much speaks to her ability to remain true to herself, regardless of her public obligations and personal challenges.

Do what you love.  Do what's important. You never know what you might accomplish.

References/Links:

To visit the Ladybird Johnson Wildflower Center Website:

 http://www.wildflower.org/ladybird/

Image:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lady_Bird_Johnson

The PBS Biography of Ladybird:

http://www.pbs.org/ladybird/

Head Start:

http://www.nhsa.org/

A State of Mind

Silver.

Vicki Topaz, a San Francisco based photographer recently showed a collection of portraits of women, all with gray or silver hair in an exhibit entitled Silver: A
State of Mind.  The exhibition is intended to investigate what it means to be an aging woman and what it means to be an authentic person.  It is not a collection of pictures of old women.  It is not a feminist diatribe.  The collection is an intimate and touching collection of women, just as they are.  It does, though, beg the question, what value do women hold as they age in a youth-based culture? Are we still desirable? Is going gray and accepting it, necessarily political? 

I don't think so.  I think that it is personal.  I do not believe that I have diminished with age in either beauty or person-hood.  I feel myself improving, fine-tuning, and continuing to learn. I take these things, lines, gray hairs, as reminders of my hard work and the triumph of having made it this far.  I hold fast to the belief that beauty radiates and that a lovely soul never goes out of style.

To view the work of Vicki Topaz:

http://www.womenonaging.com/

http://www.vickitopaz.com/

References Cited:

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/07/booming/silver-becomes-her-in-a-shows-portraits.html?ref=arts

Airing Dirty Laundry

Jezebel.

From 1920 to 1996 the Catholic Church in Ireland ran "homes for fallen women" called the Magdalene Laundries.  Taking in girls as young as nine, those with nowhere else to go because of poverty, abuse, poor choices or just plain bad luck worked long days in hard labor without pay.  They were outcasts, stripped of their names and dignity.  They were held in service to the the church that housed them, the government and military that commissioned the work, and the common people who ostracized them.  The UN Committee Against Torture called upon the Irish government in 2011 to investigate the Magdalene Laundries and the report of the findings was recently released.  The report not only describes these women as slaves, but acknowledges the collusion of the state in their treatment.  Today, more than 10,000 women, after a legal request for reparation, received an apology from the church. 

The apology was rejected.

Listen to Joni Mitchell's Tribute Song to the Magdalene Laundries:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_KK6qOlb30

References Cited:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-21345995

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/feb/05/magdalene-laundries-hunger-strike