Among The Dead

Perspective.

I am not a habitual obituary reader but I do try to take a look at the end of the year compilations of pictures that news agencies put together highlighting the notable people that pass each year. This year, I am struck by what seems to be three distinct categories, old people, those in their mid forties to fifties that die of preventable conditions such as heart attacks, and suicides. As I page through the pictures and remembrances I am absolutely sure that I want to be in the first category, old, when I die. This seems like a simple task, avoiding, of course, unexpected accidents or other circumstances beyond my control, it really does seem like I have an enormous influence over which group I end up in.  But then, many of the people pictured were successful, with families and support systems in place and good medical care and information. I wonder about the disconnect between our daily choices and our own long-term self-care. I wonder about why it can be so hard for me to keep my eye on the greater future, and if it is that hard for everyone else. I worry over my choices, the ones already made and those I will make in the future. I try to remind myself that no one is perfect and even all the good choices and prevention in the world is not a guarantee. I try to have compassion for myself and my weaknesses. Then, I tell myself to get sorted. Life is long, but not always. Ultimately, your life, and how much you get of it, are up to you. Use it wisely.

Photographs:

www.cnn.com

Growing Old, Gracefully

Dance.

For more than thirty years now I have danced. I have stepped to the barre to repeat the same exercises over and over again like a mantra, working the floor beneath me as a worry stone, over and over again. In my younger days I suffered, tormented by the mirror, self doubt, the pressures to be better, stronger, slimmer. Now, though my jumps are lower and my leg not quite so high, I find inside myself a centering and calm so crisp and clear that I turn more easily and perch for long periods in my balances. It is a trade off and an irony, it seems, that at just the moment we gain our grace we begin to lose our vigor. I, for one, am glad for it. What I have lost in youthful athleticism I have gained in presence and expression. I am no longer tormented, no longer concerned with rank or virtuosity. Now, I dance from the inside out and feel my soul stretch beyond the reaches of my fingers, grateful for the dance.

Photograph 

http://fresnobeehive.com/archives/1817

Could Go Either Way

Thirty-Something.

Now that I have a firm hold on my mid-thirties, I find a peculiar phenomenon taking place among my cohorts. They are magically able to appear as young as 25 or as old as 45. While some of us are still lithe and fit others carry beer bellies and ponches, close to two decades past our physical prime, the annual three pound weight gain is taking it’s toll on many of us.  There are wrinkles and gray hair and receding hair lines and interesting middle-aged fashion choices.  There is also a tendency towards either much older or much younger behavior, those who cling to social circles much younger than themselves and those that have adopted a world-weary way of interacting.   I can only conjecture as to the cause of this discrepancy, and must assume that genetics plays some role, but what appears to be going on is that our lives up to this point, are decidedly catching up with us. I can tell who has spent too much time in the bars or out in the sun and not enough time in the gym or getting a decent nights rest.  I can see the tracks of worry and hard living etched across faces and have watched friends go grey after a single hard year. The tolls of life come due early, it’s up to us to take good care of ourselves because really, at just halfway through our thirties, we are still young and have a long way to go.

Some conventional wisdom on staying young at heart and looking it:

Eat well, but not too much.

Exercise.

Sleep.

Drink water.

Laugh.

Have hobbies.

Spend time with friends.

Like what you are reading?  Then support the Kickstarter for my book Girl Gone Wild- On Being a Woman in the Wilderness.  Thanks!

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1731666363/girl-gone-wild-a-guide-to-being-a-woman-outside?ref=city

Photograph Courtesy of :
http://www.readmyblogplease.com/2013/07/youre-only-as-old-as-your-age.html

In Sickness and Health

Rest.

The enormity of the task of taking care of oneself is astonishing.  The world is riddled with opportunity for indulgence and bad behavior but sorely lacking in instant gratification for the making of good choices.  It seems that many if not most of us wait until some kind of crisis, either in our own lives of in those of a loved one, to make fundamental changes to our way of life.  I consider this a kind of health and lifestyle rock bottom, in which none of us knows how bad it really has to get before we decide to change our behaviors.  For some of us, an annual checkup revealing high blood pressure is enough to cut back on salt or those long overtime days.  For others, we need to gain 150 pounds or be put on oxygen before we budge from our norms.  In this respect, I hope for the wisdom to make good choices long before the warning bells and whistles begin to sound.  I want a long life for I have many things to do.

Whatever it is, that thing you do that is no good for you at all, put it down and walk away.

The leading causes of death in the U.S. according to the CDC:

http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/lcod.htm

Photograph Courtesy of:

http://www.123rf.com/photo_15689865_illustration-of-grim-reaper-silhouette-standing-in-a-doorway.html

Walk On By

Homeless.

The baby boomer generation is growing old; all of them; all at the same time.  The unanticipated consequences of the boom, which for the first few decades of their lives were a boon to the economy, have shifted.  Instead of a country over flowing with young, healthy workers, we are a country of elders.  And they are in bad shape.  The boomers have high rates of cancer and obesity, they lost much of their wealth in the recent recession, and are increasingly dependent on social programs that are dwindling and under sequester.

They are also increasingly homeless.  According to a report by NPR, the average age of a homeless person in the United States is 47.  Life on the streets is hard, unsafe, physically demanding, and exposed to the elements.  Life expectancy is short.  

Homelessness is growing.  These are our elderly, our veterans, our mentally ill, and our most unfortunate.  Try to remember that the true face of homelessness is not standing, drug-ridden at the corner with a sign asking for money to help them score, but hidden in the edges of our view, doorways, libraries, clinics, taking up what small space they can.  

Try not to look away.  Let's try to start seeing homelessness before we look around and find that we have neglected an entire generation, left them on the ice.  Let's keep good care of our elders.

To Locate a Homeless Shelter Near You:

http://www.homelessshelterdirectory.org/

References/Resources:

NPR's recent story on homelessness and aging in America:

http://www.npr.org/2013/03/13/173463462/aging-homeless-face-more-health-issues-early-death

Photo Courtesy of:

http://www.empowernetwork.com/dianed/photographer-lynn-blodgett-executive-vp-of-xerox-to-debut-portfolios-at-art-basel-first-time-for-sale-to-the-public/

A State of Mind

Silver.

Vicki Topaz, a San Francisco based photographer recently showed a collection of portraits of women, all with gray or silver hair in an exhibit entitled Silver: A
State of Mind.  The exhibition is intended to investigate what it means to be an aging woman and what it means to be an authentic person.  It is not a collection of pictures of old women.  It is not a feminist diatribe.  The collection is an intimate and touching collection of women, just as they are.  It does, though, beg the question, what value do women hold as they age in a youth-based culture? Are we still desirable? Is going gray and accepting it, necessarily political? 

I don't think so.  I think that it is personal.  I do not believe that I have diminished with age in either beauty or person-hood.  I feel myself improving, fine-tuning, and continuing to learn. I take these things, lines, gray hairs, as reminders of my hard work and the triumph of having made it this far.  I hold fast to the belief that beauty radiates and that a lovely soul never goes out of style.

To view the work of Vicki Topaz:

http://www.womenonaging.com/

http://www.vickitopaz.com/

References Cited:

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/07/booming/silver-becomes-her-in-a-shows-portraits.html?ref=arts