It Doesn't Have to Be a Circus

Kids.

We've all seen it. The family outdoor adventure gone terribly wrong. Exhausted, crabby parents dragging kids, sometimes in complete meltdown mode, down trails, coaxing them, in vain, to come out of tents, or generally having to pander to them to get them to go outside at all. I know a lot of parents that fear these scenarios, a lot that have lived through them, and a couple that pretty much have no idea what I'm talking about. Michael Lanza and his wife Penny fall into the latter category.

Ask the elder Lanza's about hiking or backpacking with kids, even with infants, and they pretty much shrug and say, "Yeah, what's the big deal?" Talk to them about taking their kids backpacking in some of the most spectacular parts of the National Parks, and rather than recount mishaps, tantrums, and parenting fails, they talk about how proud they are of their kids, how they are always exceeding expectations. Michael even wrote a book about it, using his year of backpacking with his kids in the National Parks to highlight climate change and the urgent need to show our children the best of these wild lands before they disappear.  

Along the way he does a pretty great job of demonstrating that kids can be treated just like anyone else outside, as long as you are willing to accommodate them. Kids need more sleep and more stimulation than us. They can't carry as much and they aren't as good at catching dehydration or hunger before it takes a turn towards grumpy. But they are game, resilient, and have a lot to teach us about ourselves and the world around us.

It IS possible to get outside with your kids, minus the meltdowns. And it's important that you do if we want them to be stewards in the future. So be brave, plan well, keep a positive attitude, load up the clown car, and get yourselves outside.

To read some of Michael's blog or buy his book:

 http://thebigoutside.com/

Bite Sized Memoir 4- Sports Day

Kid.

It didn't matter what sport it was, there was always that one kid. Sure, there were lots of the other kids too, the ones who trained and had dads that yelled from the sidelines and moms that brought cupcakes to every game, but it really didn't matter who else showed up as long as there was still that kid. That kid. The one that got to play the whole time, usually as something that ultimately turned out the be important like goalie or pitcher. The kid that no one like not because they were unlikable, but because they had neither aptitude nor interest. They were the coaches kid, or that guy that went to state when he was a kid's kid. They made daisy chains during the game, ate too much of the pizza afterwards, and generally didn't mind losing.

I wonder where those kids are now. Are they all in middle management? Car sales? Have they remained disaffected and bored? Did they ever find anything they cared about?

I Don't Tell You How To

Dink.

Last week Time Magazine ran a cover story about the rising numbers of child free couples in the United States.  It sparked a firestorm.  People without children are quick to defend themselves saying that they have happy and fulfilled lives, time to care for aging parents, and savings to get them through retirement.  People with children, well, they pretty much just claim that you are in an incomplete person without children, that your life in not valid, nor are your accomplishments, and that no one will take care of you when you are old. Perhaps there is some validity on both sides.  However, I feel that it is important to point out that most people with children are not heard complaining that they feel judged by people without children, or pressured, or discounted.  Most people without kids, spend a lot of time having to justify themselves, their lifestyles, and sometimes even their medical and financial status to people who thin they know how everyone's lives should be led. 

 I believe that like any other major life choice the one about whether or not to have a child is personal.  And there are all kinds of reasons, some of them medical, for not having kids, which is also personal, meaning none of anyone else's business. Which means is it should probably go without comment. Just like we do not tell strangers that they are fat and would just be happy if they lost weight, or that they really should have gone to college if they wanted to be happy, or that they don't make enough money so they just don't know what they are missing.

So the next time, before you tell some girlfriend or coworker or cousin that she is running out of time or she just doesn't know what she is missing, please remember that you do not know if perhaps she is trying, or has tried, or considers managing to not get pregnant an accomplishment   Mostly, remember that it is none of your business to pass judgement, that women without children largely do not try to make you feel like less of a person for all the things you miss because of your kids so you shouldn't either. Pressuring other women to have kids just because that's what you did reeks of righteousness and desperation to validate your own life and choices,  You never know what is really going on in someone's life so you live yours and let everyone else live theirs.

Like what you are reading?  Then support the Kickstarter for my book Girl Gone Wild- On Being a Woman in the Wilderness.  Thanks!

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1731666363/girl-gone-wild-a-guide-to-being-a-woman-outside?ref=city

Kids These Days

Canary.

I have worked with children for a long time in a lot of different circumstances, however most of the time my job has been to engage them in some kind of physical or outdoor learning experience.In the last three or so years I have made some generalizations and formed some thoughts about this new batch of children, those younger than 18.  Many of them are good.  This is about the rest of them.  Based on entirely anecdotal evidence and presented in full knowledge of the fact that I may well just be getting old and witnessing my own generation gap;

They seem to be highly medicated. They are lethargic, disinterested, and overweight. They are all going to have neck problems from never looking up. They drink caffeinated beverages.  They have a high rate of autism (I mean high in comparison to my grade school, which I am pretty sure was zero).  They do not play outside.  They are really hard to engage in focused activity.

Sometimes I feel like this is a real phenomenon, sometimes I wonder if this is how kids have always been just now we have names, diagnoses, and medications for it.  I notice also that parents seem to be somehow both more intrusive and ever-present in their children's lives, and also pretty checked out.  There are children I know who I rarely see look up from their phone or gaming device as they meander behind their parent.  

Perhaps these are just unfounded generalizations.

Perhaps I am just witnessing the adjustment to rapid, technology-driven social change.

Perhaps environmental quality and economic depression have taken their toll.

Perhaps children are like canaries and if they are, perhaps we should attend to their condition.

Photograph Courtesy of:

http://au.businessinsider.com/scary-kids-playgrounds-2011-11#fredonia-arizona-the-grand-prize-winner-ponderosa-park-sits-rusting-and-forgotten-1